Big Bang

Lying in bed waiting on sleep as the hands of the clock ticked on by, I could feel nothing but my weight on the mattress. It had been months since I had been left in orbit, and time had swirled and compacted itself to a stream of unconnected events. I hardly remember what had happened on the set of the Spitter. Apparently, as Bernard described to me, I had arrived on set completely smashed and halfway through the shooting I stuffed my hand down my pants and pulled out my dick asking Olivia Sheran to suck it. Once she had refused I approached the other females and males with the same proposition.

Bernard for all his pestering and annoying behavior had stuck by me through it and I was grateful to have him be more than just my agent.

It all came back to her. I loved her. Even within that short period of time that I had had the privilege of being with her, I had fallen in deep. Now she was off the face of this earth and I had lost my way in space searching.

I turn over to my side and stare into the darkness. The faint signs of day creep into my room. I see the twinkle of the empty whiskey bottle standing proudly by the windowsill. How did it get this desperate? Hot tears tore down my face and my body rocked to the turbulence of my uncontrollable sobbing.

The only thing that had given me solace was my night strolls in the city. Digging deep into the underworld I came into contact with, the underbelly of society, the forgotten people of Accra. Drugs and liquor saturated my being as I rode the wave of nefariousness hoping that it would carry me to her again. But it didn’t, and my identity faded into the current of brown liquid that had gripped my life. The bottle, my hands reach for it without me knowing. It takes the will of my heart to stop myself.

In my adventures I came across a group of girls that I had no other way of describing but as the Lost Girls. Lost Girls because their parents, for the most part, had abandoned them because they were too different and from that commonality of abandonment they came to realize the strength they could give to each other. They lived in a flat close to the city and they did everything together.

It had been circumstance that led me to them and they adopted me for a while, until it became clear that I didn’t fit in. Funny right?

Neglected and rejected I crawled back into my hole and within this void I condensed myself to nothing but a physical entity.

Someone save me.

Please.

Knock-Knock.

Jesus. Who could that be?

I don’t bother to put on clothes I get up and move to the door. Life was on the other side. Somebody who cared for me realized that I needed to be saved. I turned the knob and pulled the door open. No one was there. My heart sank to the depths of the universe. I turned away then I heard a whistle and smelt something familiar.

I turn back and there she is.

But how?

“How--- you shouldn’t see me like this.”

“Its ok. Can I come in?”

“I-I I am sorry, I don’t know what it felt like to be like this. I don’t know what to do?”

“Don’t do anything, stop talking and get on the bed.”

“I thought I was dead, I think im dead.”

I can’t stop it. My fragile state is pathetic and I collapse into a fit of tears holding on to myself. She walks down to me and holds me.

“I don’t know where I went wrong. I was spiraling downward and I did nothing. I just let myself be pulled by the force. It was easy to do that. It was easy to tell myself that you had forsaken me, what else could it be? Then I thought I was crazy forever feeling like that for you. I am a fool. I am sorry little fool.”

“Don’t say that, here drink some water.”

“No you need to tell me you wont let me go, even if it’s a lie. Tell me. So I have stability.”

“I will not let you go.”

“Oh babes where have you been? I have searched the galaxy for you. But I went too far out and I lost myself. You can’t see me like this.”

“Its ok, sh sh sh, its ok..”

She cradles me in her arms and I feel life again. Something happened in the cosmos, someone was listening. Someone heeded my call.