Lying in bed waiting
on sleep as the hands of the clock ticked on by, I could feel nothing but my
weight on the mattress. It had been months since I had been left in orbit, and
time had swirled and compacted itself to a stream of unconnected events. I
hardly remember what had happened on the set of the Spitter. Apparently, as
Bernard described to me, I had arrived on set completely smashed and halfway
through the shooting I stuffed my hand down my pants and pulled out my dick
asking Olivia Sheran to suck it. Once she had refused I approached the other
females and males with the same proposition.
Bernard for all
his pestering and annoying behavior had stuck by me through it and I was
grateful to have him be more than just my agent.
It all came back
to her. I loved her. Even within
that short period of time that I had had the privilege of being with her, I had
fallen in deep. Now she was off the face of this earth and I had lost my way in
space searching.
I turn over to
my side and stare into the darkness. The faint signs of day creep into my room.
I see the twinkle of the empty whiskey bottle standing proudly by the
windowsill. How did it get this desperate? Hot tears tore down my face and my
body rocked to the turbulence of my uncontrollable sobbing.
The only thing
that had given me solace was my night strolls in the city. Digging deep into
the underworld I came into contact with, the underbelly of society, the
forgotten people of Accra. Drugs and liquor saturated my being as I rode the
wave of nefariousness hoping that it would carry me to her again. But it
didn’t, and my identity faded into the current of brown liquid that had gripped
my life. The bottle, my hands reach for it without me knowing. It takes the
will of my heart to stop myself.
In my adventures
I came across a group of girls that I had no other way of describing but as the
Lost Girls. Lost Girls because their parents, for the most part, had abandoned
them because they were too different and from that commonality of abandonment
they came to realize the strength they could give to each other. They lived in
a flat close to the city and they did everything together.
It had been
circumstance that led me to them and they adopted me for a while, until it
became clear that I didn’t fit in. Funny right?
Neglected and
rejected I crawled back into my hole and within this void I condensed myself to
nothing but a physical entity.
Someone save me.
Please.
Knock-Knock.
Jesus. Who could
that be?
I don’t bother
to put on clothes I get up and move to the door. Life was on the other side.
Somebody who cared for me realized that I needed to be saved. I turned the knob
and pulled the door open. No one was there. My heart sank to the depths of the
universe. I turned away then I heard a whistle and smelt something familiar.
I turn back and
there she is.
But how?
“How--- you
shouldn’t see me like this.”
“Its ok. Can I
come in?”
“I-I I am sorry,
I don’t know what it felt like to be like this. I don’t know what to do?”
“Don’t do
anything, stop talking and get on the bed.”
“I thought I was
dead, I think im dead.”
I can’t stop it.
My fragile state is pathetic and I collapse into a fit of tears holding on to
myself. She walks down to me and holds me.
“I don’t know
where I went wrong. I was spiraling downward and I did nothing. I just let
myself be pulled by the force. It was easy to do that. It was easy to tell
myself that you had forsaken me, what else could it be? Then I thought I was
crazy forever feeling like that for you. I am a fool. I am sorry little fool.”
“Don’t say that,
here drink some water.”
“No you need to
tell me you wont let me go, even if it’s a lie. Tell me. So I have stability.”
“I will not let
you go.”
“Oh babes where
have you been? I have searched the galaxy for you. But I went too far out and I
lost myself. You can’t see me like this.”
“Its ok, sh sh
sh, its ok..”
She cradles me
in her arms and I feel life again. Something happened in the cosmos, someone
was listening. Someone heeded my call.
