Crashing into the Sun

It wasn’t Armageddon I realized. The afternoon sun was beating hard on the windows and my damsel had taken her sweet time getting all dolled up in the bathroom. I peeked through the slight crack of the bathroom door and there she was puffing out her fizzy hair, and pouting her bloody lips at the mirror.

She caught my gaze and smiled ruthlessly. I didn’t turn around. I continued to stare. I bore into her light hazel nut eyes and I could see myself falling in them. Her deep pools of pain, love and passion were drowning me even before I got to the deep end. How deep was the deep end?

Where did I pick you up from hun?

‘To me it feels like you are wasting your time. But im sure you know that too.’ I remarked charmingly.

She liked that when I talked trash to her. It was overrated being nice.

She placed her hands in the basin of the sink to rinse her hands as I marched up behind her and sunk my teeth in her long slender neck. My tongue furrowed on up to her ear as I dug into it. All the while she was swooning. Her eyes shut, her hands twirling in the water, her essence shaking.

‘To me it feels like you are a waste of time.’

My hand reaching down below her black leather skirt and brushing her soft lips.

‘But god knows I have no use for that, so might as well waste it.’

She loves the casual mockery of our existence. Nothing will ever feel like it is enough, and we will clutch on to the idea that we are giving ourselves more time but we are just driving straight. She has been speeding. Might as well crash into the sun. A dangerous mentality and code she lives by. I know it.

It took almost another hour before we unwrapped ourselves and left the bathroom. She hadn’t said a word all the while, actually I had done almost all the talking but I knew everything about her.

She stooped down to grab her heels and looked up at me. Tauntingly.

‘Ha! You never know when to stop.’

‘You never know when to “cum”.’ She retorted.

She hangs to that last word as if it were the last bite of hell and I can feel the intent.  I can’t walk up to her and kiss her. If I did that, I would have lost the game before it got interesting.

‘When am I gonna see you again?’ I asked. Defeated.

‘Im gonna kiss you one more time and that might be probably the last time we will share each other. Is that ok?’ Her fingers busily tying shoe buckles, her words cutting into me. She swings her head and her hair flops over to the other side, the long dark curls spiraling over her fiery eyes.

‘You just burnt me. But I don’t mind that. Lets do dinner or movie?’ Im grasping for anything to confirm that she will be back, but I shouldn’t be, she knows what she wants. She will come and get it when she wants it.

‘No. Don’t be stupid. Now kiss me and let me go.’

The kiss is horrific. A moment in time that feels beyond that, and one I know might never come again. Fear isn’t knowing the end, it is realizing that it’s started and will slip away from you.

‘Bye.’

‘Bye.’

I shouldn’t have said anything. I look at my watch. Almost 3pm and I have dinner with my agent soon. Grab the car keys and dash out, is what I thought.

Don’t know if it is what I did.